Dating in Dublin …and sometimes elsewhere!

Posts tagged ‘multiple dating’

Messy

Not having a boyfriend is harder work than I expected. Juggling schedules and keeping each on their corner is not exactly fun.

I thought being single meant I see guys when I see them and I have fun when I do. But that’s not what’s been happening. They ask too many questions.

Today James sent a message inquiring about my weekend plans. The retarded here goes and tells him “I’m going to Galway!”. He replies with “nice, maybe I should come along ;)”.

Oh joy.

It’s my fault, I could just not mention anything and say I have plans with friends or what not. Wouldn’t be lying. I consider Lars more a friend than anything. He’s the one I’m certain I don’twant anything serious with. He’s a nice guy that reminds too much of my ex-bf. James, on the other hand, is a nice guy I could see myself getting serious with, in the future, if nothing else happens, and I have a complete and total mental breakdown and decide to get serious with anyone.

I replied to him that we were joining a tour to Connemara, and it was all set, so no time to meet in Galway or anything. That’s actually true, except that we’ll clearly have some free time at nights.

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This is gonna end in tears

He then proceeds to ask who “we” was. And I say right out “me and a friend”. Thank you, English, for being a gender-free language.

In the end I already know what’s going to happen. I don’t feel comfortable with this story anymore. I’ll keep Lars as a friend and James for the weekends.

I should know that it would never be as easy as it seemed. I think to pull something like this you to either go all out and let them know what you’re up to (which I have no guts to do whatsoever), or be able to juggle people and hide all your steps (something at which I apparently suck).

The birthday party debacle made me aware of how not ready I am to play this thing. I’m trying to put a very “I’m wild and mature and I’ll do what I want” type of face, but in the end, I’m just a silly kid, who couldn’t possibly eat two desserts without making a mess of herself.

But at least I can be mature enough to know this is not for me. I don’t even like dessert anyway. I always preferred savoury stuff.

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When worlds collide

I’m by the bar with a few friends and one of the guys I’ve been seeing. We are all waiting for our drinks. It’s my birthday, so I’m paying. I’m waiting for my friend’s Cosmo and then, pay and go back to the area reserved for the party.

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I’m too old for this shit

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to look. It’s James. I look at my friend, who’s aware of all the dealings. I look at James. I look at the other guy I’m going out with. I look at James again. I finally get out of my stupor and say hi.

My birthday started uneventful, with me working like crazy, and just running details of what was happening at night with a few friends. Nothing big, just going to a bar, dancing, listening to good music. 

I did invite one of the two guys I’m currently going out with. Let’s call him Lars (he sort of kinda looks like Lars Ulrich). And by going out I mean just having sex and fun. It’s nothing serious with either, I’ve made no promises. Still, I only invited Lars because I didn’t want any trouble. I told James I was going out to a club, even said what was the name, but since he lives far from me (another city), I didn’t bother inviting. Plus, it was the middle of the week.

So I was quite surprised when I got a message from James saying he was on his way to Dublin to say happy birthday to me. One hour before the party.

Nothing I could do, couldn’t tell him to turn back. I said “ok, meet us at the Workmans”. 

And then I say hi. And he hugs me and says happy birthday. Then the obligatory round of introductions commences. Introduce one friend, introduce the other friend, introduce Lars, the other guy I’ve been sleeping with… you could cut the tension with a butter knife. I looked at my friend and say “help me” with my eyes.

We all went to dance and talk. Talked to James a bit, talked to Lars a bit, and I could feel both trying to inquire who the other was. How they caught up on the situation is beyond me. I wasn’t cuddly with neither. I was trying to remain neutral, because I like them both and don’t want to cause any heartache. I’m pretty sure they have other people going on and I wouldn’t like it if they flaunted them in front of me. Manners, people.

My friend was able to keep Lars at bay for most of the time. I paid high in drinks for that, and I don’t regret it. And everything was ok, until James noticed Lars coming and dancing very close to me. Just being flirty in general with his dancing. He doesn’t have good moves, but you know, it’s cute anyway.

James gave him such a dirty look I thought he’d punch the guy right there, in the middle of the dance floor. He then pulled me towards him to dance. What the heck was I supposed to do? I tore away from him. It was a bit caveman-like, protecting his woman from other predators. And although I did feel valued, I don’t think he has any rights towards me, so I just took some distance and kept dancing, near both, trying to maintain a positive attitude. After all, it was my birthday.

After a while Lars left and went to talk to another group of people. Nothing I could have said or done. I figured a guy that drives all the way to Dublin to be with me middle of the week  deserves some praise. Lars is lovely, but I can see him anytime. 

Night ended with James at my house, telling me stories about his family and explaining why he stood me up those two times (after I called him a bastard to his face for doing so). Turns out reasons were far more serious than I imagined. And he had even bought me a birthday present. He was treating me like a princess, I’ll tell you. Realizing there was competition made him step up his game. For a solid ten minutes, I wished he was my boyfriend.

Oh, and did I mention I’m travelling with Lars next week? 

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James is laughing because he won this round.

Circus freak?

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Yesterday I found myself juggling three online conversations with gentlemen I’ve met in the course of the last three weeks. At one point, I answered the question of one to another. Luckily it didn’t involve any sort of specific personal info so it may just have sounded like I was confused about the question. Or at least this is what I like to believe.

They are all extremely interesting, at least one of them is excellent in bed, and another one is a great kisser. The third is still a mystery, but more on that later.

Worst part is that none of them were my James Hetfield. 

This is not gonna end well.

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