Dating in Dublin …and sometimes elsewhere!

Quite an interesting text on “Croppable Relationships”, Ferret Atheism:


On a related note, yesterday I was reading a presentation on how we decide things depending on the amount of time we’re given to analyze the decision. You can’t rush into things and decide without information, and you can’t just ignore facts and keep your mind closed. Both attitudes will be detrimental to you, in the end. 

And I’m saying this because I see myself doing this every now and then. I noticed I was fighting off having a serious relationship not because I’m not interested in a guy, but because I still have these memories of my last one, which tanked fabulously, and they made me close my mind to any new possibilities.

Fact: I do like James enough that I miss him, and that having gone away for a weekend with Lars made me wish James was there instead.

Fact: I keep pushing him away because I believe I shouldn’t be having another relationship, after how the last one ended.

I was having a brief conversation with a friend and told her I didn’t think I should be jumping in another relationship, after her asking me if I was dating James seriously. 

“One thing has nothing to do with the other. Don’t date him because you don’t want to, but not because it didn’t work with someone else. He’s not the same guy you dated before, it’s unfair to James.”, she said.

And she is right. I’m not thinking, I’m keeping my mind closed for any possibilities because of something that happened in the past. 

If it’s just the past knocking at my window, I should close the curtains and open the door to the new possibilities. Embrace the possibility as much as I embrace him when we meet.

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