Dating in Dublin …and sometimes elsewhere!

Goodbye!

Thanks for all the love and chats I got from this.
Thanks for reading and for putting up with my stories!
Thanks thanks thanks.

I’m killing this blog because life has taken a different turn and I no longer have the time to keep it here.
I loved meeting like minded people, who were thrown in the dating life and made (and are making) the best of it, and sharing it with the world.

I remain a dater, my relationship status hasn’t changed. I wish all of you out there the best of luck and leave you with this thought: love is not the answer to everything, but it sure makes the answer more interesting.

I’ll be reading and commenting as always, just don’t expect new posts 😉

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Quite an interesting text on “Croppable Relationships”, Ferret Atheism: http://croppable.com/faith/

 

On a related note, yesterday I was reading a presentation on how we decide things depending on the amount of time we’re given to analyze the decision. You can’t rush into things and decide without information, and you can’t just ignore facts and keep your mind closed. Both attitudes will be detrimental to you, in the end. 

And I’m saying this because I see myself doing this every now and then. I noticed I was fighting off having a serious relationship not because I’m not interested in a guy, but because I still have these memories of my last one, which tanked fabulously, and they made me close my mind to any new possibilities.

Fact: I do like James enough that I miss him, and that having gone away for a weekend with Lars made me wish James was there instead.

Fact: I keep pushing him away because I believe I shouldn’t be having another relationship, after how the last one ended.

I was having a brief conversation with a friend and told her I didn’t think I should be jumping in another relationship, after her asking me if I was dating James seriously. 

“One thing has nothing to do with the other. Don’t date him because you don’t want to, but not because it didn’t work with someone else. He’s not the same guy you dated before, it’s unfair to James.”, she said.

And she is right. I’m not thinking, I’m keeping my mind closed for any possibilities because of something that happened in the past. 

If it’s just the past knocking at my window, I should close the curtains and open the door to the new possibilities. Embrace the possibility as much as I embrace him when we meet.

I decided to stay home today because I didn’t feel particularly special and thought watching a movie by myself was long overdue. Then I read this cute post, and my eyes only watered a bit. Maybe it’s all the mentions to Ireland, maybe it’s that sometimes we realize we are hiding ourselves from the people we share our daily lives with.

http://www.lauraprado.net/the-gift-of-gab/

Oh, life, you heartless bitch.

Goatta like it!

I don’t feel like writing today, so I’ll just leave this right here…

 

I am loving this meme.

I meant to write sooner, but I was immersed in huge plans for the future (which include no men whatsoever, thankfully).

I received a gem of a proposition on okcupid that I must share… it clearly was sent in bulk to any woman in the region.

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It doesn’t piss me off, sir, don’t worry about it. “Hey, I’m looking to have meaningless sex with you, but I’ve got no picture and I’m describing myself as amazing. I’m sure your dry spell has lasted long enough that you would accept my proposition without even seeing a picture of me.”

Yes, that works every time.

Plus, a guy who is dying to get the hell out of a place I claim to love on my profile? At least do your homework, buddy.

Messy

Not having a boyfriend is harder work than I expected. Juggling schedules and keeping each on their corner is not exactly fun.

I thought being single meant I see guys when I see them and I have fun when I do. But that’s not what’s been happening. They ask too many questions.

Today James sent a message inquiring about my weekend plans. The retarded here goes and tells him “I’m going to Galway!”. He replies with “nice, maybe I should come along ;)”.

Oh joy.

It’s my fault, I could just not mention anything and say I have plans with friends or what not. Wouldn’t be lying. I consider Lars more a friend than anything. He’s the one I’m certain I don’twant anything serious with. He’s a nice guy that reminds too much of my ex-bf. James, on the other hand, is a nice guy I could see myself getting serious with, in the future, if nothing else happens, and I have a complete and total mental breakdown and decide to get serious with anyone.

I replied to him that we were joining a tour to Connemara, and it was all set, so no time to meet in Galway or anything. That’s actually true, except that we’ll clearly have some free time at nights.

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This is gonna end in tears

He then proceeds to ask who “we” was. And I say right out “me and a friend”. Thank you, English, for being a gender-free language.

In the end I already know what’s going to happen. I don’t feel comfortable with this story anymore. I’ll keep Lars as a friend and James for the weekends.

I should know that it would never be as easy as it seemed. I think to pull something like this you to either go all out and let them know what you’re up to (which I have no guts to do whatsoever), or be able to juggle people and hide all your steps (something at which I apparently suck).

The birthday party debacle made me aware of how not ready I am to play this thing. I’m trying to put a very “I’m wild and mature and I’ll do what I want” type of face, but in the end, I’m just a silly kid, who couldn’t possibly eat two desserts without making a mess of herself.

But at least I can be mature enough to know this is not for me. I don’t even like dessert anyway. I always preferred savoury stuff.

Walking back from the restaurant today I couldn’t think of anything but how boring this guy was. Capital B boring. Two hours of my life I’ll never get back.

I had gone out with him before. He was the guy that showed up in company attire for our date. He was my first date out of OkCupid, and the first person I ever EVER went on a proper date with in my life. I knew he was boring, but I just didn’t remember how much.

I think there are two things a man should never do if he intends to land a next date (or just plain get laid) with me: try to impress me with money and talk about himself the whole time. He got it wrong on both counts.

I think the first one may not be a deal breaker for everyone, but for me it’s annoying. I don’t care at all how much money someone’s got, or how well paid they are. Go tell your mom, she’ll be proud. Rubbing that on my face isn’t really gonna help. If I cared about money I wouldn’t have graduated in Journalism.

The second one is where I believe most people will agree with me: if the person sitting across from you is talking non-stop about all the amazing things they do or did, and how incredibly generous, funny, adventurous, [put your own adjective here] they are, then it’s certain that I’ll lose interest in no time. I have a bit of an ego, I want someone to be interested in what I’m saying. Even among friends, I want to be heard and be asked about things. This guy was so consumed by his own amazingness that he probably could have gone on and on even if I decided to leave. On a second thought, I should have left.

I actually enjoy listening to other people, but I like that to be mutual, that’s the natural way. I listen to you, ask questions, and then you ask me something and that’s called chatting. What I had today was a monologue. 

I only went out again with him because he wouldn’t stop asking. I honestly thought that maybe I misjudged him and at the first date he was nervous and talking nonstop to cover for it. But no. That’s his normal self. Gotta admire how much confidence and pride for himself he’s god. But not something for me. 

A sad contrast with my last Monday date, which was quite adorable, simple and plain fun. Random guy of last week was just wonderful, in comparison to car wreck guy of today.

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